All good news for the most part but trying to eat in this condition is not for the faint hearted. Pain in my throat is now likely to be my biggest problem over the next few months. And, yes, it will take that long. More on that later.
Yesterday was a good day. I “ate” easily through my tube and took all my pain meds by mouth. I also went to the practice range and hit some golf balls for the first time. Then I chipped and putted a little bit. This weekend I’m going to try to play 9 holes with Joanne and if that works out, I’m going to try to rejoin my Tuesday night league starting as early as next week. I may be overly ambitious here. I have to see if I can survive 2 hours out there. This may or may not be a good idea but I need to start living at some point. I guess pain and fatigue will be my friend for a while. Last night I decided I really wanted to eat some mashed potatoes. I’m REALLY hungry. Like other food before, I knew it would hurt but I’m so friggin’ hungry I just had to try. So Joanne whipped up some potatoes with plenty of butter (too much as it will turn out) and no salt or pepper and away I went: In the mouth, move it around a little, swallow/grimace. Wash down with water, grimace. More potato, move it around a little swallow/grimace!! Repeat. GRIMACE!! During all this I pace the floor, feel myself getting warmer, my heart races faster, a little perspiration – all signs of a man in pain. Joanne watched this go on and kept asking me if I was ok since I looked horrible doing this. Why we grimace when things hurt is beyond me but my facial expression must have been scary.
Well……..I am glad I ate those damned potatoes but I needed to back off on the butter. My stomach isn’t used to high fat food and about 2 hours into the evening I felt awful. No nausea but a sense of being “over full” and bloated. Blah. Also, last night my throat was back to producing prodigious amounts of crud and it hurt like hell too so I didn’t sleep well. I think I overdid it. But I do NEED real food and this is the only way. Each day I’ll try to eat something just to do it. That is except for today. I need to back off and let my throat rest today. I have to remember that this is going to take time. I hate that fact but there is nothing I can do but let nature heal me in due time. 
sending healing thoughts your way............-meg
ReplyDeleteoh Ben, what a terrible trial this has been for you, but you keep on truckin' good for you.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are making good progress. Trying to get back to "normal activities" will be the best theropy you can have. Pace yourself, but being tired is a good feeling when you can actually say you did something to cause it!
ReplyDeleteAs for the food front... Ice cream might be the best medicine for you. Stick with maybe milkshakes or vanilla to start with, low fat might not be a bad option as well if the butter upset your system. Mike particularly likes the mash potatoes, so much so I stopped making them from scratch a long time ago. The store brands, particularly Bob Evans brand is now his favorite. Just very creamy and goes down easy. Keep up the good work. Progress is a good thing!