Roller Coaster Ride

May 3, 2011  - Roller Coaster Ride

First, a note of thanks to my wonderful Saturday golf friends. I received this card (see photo) today signed by the guys who take my money each week and ….oh…now I get it. Get well you pigeon!!! Seriously, I do appreciate everyone’s concern and I hope anyone going through this has the good support of friends and family as I do. My wife, Joanne, also continues to be a loving advocate for my recovery with her tireless effort at doing everything for me and taking care of every detail. And no, she’s not getting fat like she feared she would.

After last week I was beginning to wonder how bad this was going to get. I know I’ll still get worse but at least much of this week has been better in many ways. But first the bad stuff:  I didn’t have a good afternoon yesterday. I had decided to postpone my PEG (feeding tube) to see if I could just live on Ensure by drinking 4 or 5 cans per day. On can number 3 (I think) I struggled to finish it after postponing doing so for about an hour. I finally did finish it at about 4 PM. At about 4:10 it did its “I’ll shall return” bit and that was the end of that idea. I’ll probably still drink some Ensure but I have also started the process of scheduling the installation of the PEG in case my throat gets real bad again. It should be sometime in the next 5 days. A “just in case I need it” decision.

On that front, I’ve had pretty good pain control with the Oxycodone but so-so nausea control. In other words, if I had any kind of appetite, I can eat more food than I could when my throat was on fire.  I’ll be going on a pain patch in a day or so and I’m adding an extra day of IV (Eye-vee) nausea meds (on Friday) as well as the steroid boost and fluids I usually get with chemo. We’ll see how that goes. But I know my throat pain and swallowing ability will continue to be an issue.

I’ve completed 16 RAD and 4 CHEMO treatments as of today.  ChemDoc said my labs are still good (not anemic etc.). I hit the half way mark on Thursday. From lack of food I’ve dropped a few pounds. I shaved off what was left of my beard; it was falling out anyway (the mustache may go next {after 41 years!})

Emotions: Those of you who’ve been to Disney World and ridden Space Mountain, remember it as a roller coaster in the dark. That’s what this feels like. You know you’ll have ups and downs but don’t know when. On days like today I get back to hoping that last scary hill was the last one but also knowing it probably isn’t. But like Space Mountain, this ride will end too. Loving life. I think I’ll go nap.

Five hours later – Space Mountain struck again. My temperature went to nearly 102 and I’m miserable again.