September 16, 2011 - Still Improving And Starting to Play More Golf

My energy level has (in general) been better so I’m back hacking it up on the golf course again playing 18 holes now. My bigger issue out there is my muscle wasting problem and not my oral cancer or recovery. No golf skills left. No leg strength. In other news, I have much less pain on my tongue (down about 60 – 70%). I can chew gum now (aids salivation). My throat is also showing signs of coming around as well. I still eat mush and am still not exactly enjoying my meals yet but there is progress. After playing golf today I tried tuna salad. That wasn’t a good idea. I can’t swallow it very well. Solid food will be a long time coming I think.

Tuesday I see RadDoc and I’m definitely going to request the feeding tube be removed. I’m tired of it and I’m able to sustain myself with regular eating so it needs to go. I’ll feel freer without it I think and maybe it will improve my attitude – which I admit badly needs improving. I’ll say this, despite my fatalistic attitude, I’ve never stopped trying to recover and survive. I just haven’t done it with any class. I guess I’ve never been good at pretending I’m feeling positive when I’m not. I had a miserable summer – and I said so. I’m still not sure what kind of future I have but I’m still here so I’ll give it a shot.

I have to say my wife continues to take good care of me doing her best to create mushy meals of normal foods so I can get the right nutrition. That and putting up with a “jerk” of a husband qualifies her for sainthood. Regarding food, I still don’t eat enough but when you don’t enjoy the process of eating, it tends to limit the activity. A sore throat, difficulty swallowing, and food that all tastes blah doesn’t lend itself to binging.

Some of you may have seen NBC news Thursday evening where they talked about the increase in oral cancer from the HPV virus in young women. They are the fastest growing demographic for this disease. Not good news.